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(Note: This is a parody. Real vacuum tube TV's are not like what this post describes, unless they have something seriously wrong with them...)

How to operate a tube TV

As anybody knows, Solid state components replaced vacuum tubes in televisions in the late 1960's. However to this day, many vacuum tube televisions still operate. Vacuum tube TV's can produce a picture as good or better then solid state TV's when working correctly, but they are no longer widely used because many TV owners grew tired of replacing blown tubes every 5 hours.

Turning a vacuum tube TV on is in itself an easy task. One simply either turns the knob, presses the switch, or pulls the starter cord several times after priming it, depending on the model of the TV. However, operating the TV consists of more then simply turning it on. Once it's on, the owner must know how to troubleshoot any problems that may crop up at anytime.

COMMON ISSUES:

PROBLEM: The picture is rolling, the sound is buzzing, and there's a loud squealing noise coming from the TV!

SOLUTION: The TV still needs to warm up. Vacuum tube TV's need about an hour or two to warm up after being turned on. Once it's warmed up, the picture will stabilize, the squealing and buzzing noises will be replaced with audio from the television station, and the TV will be ready to watch.

PROBLEM: There was a loud popping noise and the picture shifted to a weird green tint! There's also smoke coming out of the back of the set!

SOLUTION: Turn the TV off, let it cool for an hour, then replace the AXGYB12CHG7T4DFQ tube. This tube controls the colors red and blue and normally has a lifespan of well over 10 hours. DO NOT substitute the similarly named AXGY812CHG7T4DFQ. Even though this tube looks identical, and has a similar name, using it will cause your television to explode.

PROBLEM: I let the set warm up, but the picture is squashed and not very bright!

SOLUTION: Take the back off the set and adjust L65536, L4499, and L31200. Also check the brightness control, conviently located under the chassis. Use a non conductive screwdriver to prevent yourself from being electrocuted

PROBLEM: The sound just went out, but the picture's still there!

SOLUTION: Turn the TV off, let it cool down, then take the back off and replace the LGX755GBHT47TX tube. This tube controls the TV's audio. DO NOT substitute the similarly named LGX755G8HT47TX, as this will cause your television to pick up classified military radio and aircraft signals which is a federal offense.

PROBLEM: I turned the TV on and let it warm up, but then it shut itself off!

SOLUTION: Add two or more quarts of coolant to the coolant reservoir inside the TV. Most tube TV's have an auto shutoff feature when they are low on coolant. This shutoff feature is to prevent the TV from catching on fire due to excessive heat.

OTHER TIPS:

Every few hours or so, one of the 1800 vacuum tubes inside a tube TV will blow. This usually results in shards of glass being sent everywhere inside the TV. Metal tube shields can minimize the shards of flying glass.

Tube TV's consume more electricity then solid state TV's. A tube TV should have its own dedicated 20 or 30 amp circuit breaker to avoid tripping other circuit breakers.

If a tube TV has sat for more then a month without being powered up, it should be recapped and powered up on a variac to minimize the risk of explosion and fire.

Replacing a blown vacuum tube with the wrong type can cause unpredictable behavior such as:

Color or convergence issues.
Loss of sound or picture.
TV displaying reality programming
Explosion and fire.

With the proper care and maintainence, you should be able to get several minutes of enjoyment out of your tube TV.